i feel super duper lousy now.
i seriously tot no one reads this space.
and thats y i made everyone i know,swear never to link me.

its jus sometimes when u're angry and need an avenue to vent it.
u tend to tink of a diary.
n this is my diary. its a space in which i am jus who i am without having to consider the world.
like a small little space for me.

i am really sorry for the things i have said. that i din mean.
if u're my fren u would know that sometimes, sam jus gets too emotionally involved and have alot to mumble out to herself.
but she wouldnt confront cos its very hurting to a frienship.

i'm a non-confrontational person as a whole. and my tempers only last till i sleep. even then. i would never ever put on a face or throw it at anyone.

i am realli realli sorry.
anyways folks. will b closing this place down. =)
for the close fellas, i will start smth again soon to inform u guys abt life in uk. -hugs-

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS,

Paul

90th post. =)

quite amazing aint it. i started blogging since sec 3. delete blogs after blogs. becos i hated to let others know abt a private slot from my mind.

now. i jus do it. perhaps. to update many loves i have back home.
also to keepsake certain memories that i have pen down.

today. paul left me to go back home.
this trip.
made us stronger.
it was very much a glimpse to marriage.
like watching tv together. stoning.
arguing about which side of the bed.
arguing about why did the other person take most of the blankie the night before.
cooking dinner together.
sleeping in together.
watching horror shows and pretend to be the bravest amongst the 2 but chicken out at the slightest sound.
it has been the warmest 2 months i had.

paul and i may nt be the best couple arnd.
we dont quarrel but we ignore.
i rmber ignoring one another here for 2 whole days. pretending he din exist becos i was angry.
no one wanted to give in.
finally, he did say sorry.

its been so long. from knowing him in 2002.
from my fren secretly bein in love with him in 2005.
and him being interested in me in 2005.
and me bein attached in 2004-2005. so paul jus was there.
and in 2005 christmas how i shunned him from my life. changed contacts and stuff.
in 2006,how we reunited. how we placed everythin on hold for a lvls and for a fren that meant so much to me.
now 2009. i cant even recall how long are we actually in love for.
but we're still tgt. with so many yrs to look forward to.
i am glad. i chose him.
its been a long and hard walk.
we've been thru so much. it puts dramas to shame.
and i thank god for that.
for makin us fit like jigsaws. for chiselling the ends of our imprefections to suit one another.

i have much gotten used to the fact that he's there. like i dun have to go toilet alone.
becos i'm scared to climb up the stairs at nite.(my hse is big and freaky at night)

lastly, thank you. thank you for so much that i can't thank you enough. for all u have done for me. and for the many things i know u will always do. for the rest of our time together.

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